I Give Thanks......

As we near the Thanksgiving Holiday my heart is full. I have so much in my life to be thankful for. I have definately had my moments where I have questioned why and wondered what else could go wrong. How many more things I would have to lose or get taken away because of bad choices (some from years ago). And yet when everytime that I start to feel down or depressed something happens(not always good) and makes me realize that things could be much worse and there are so many things that I have that others dont. Just this past week I watched as a Mother buried her son. Something that I have never had to go thru....knock on wood!! I knew the little boy on a personal level and I have seemed to struggle quite a bit with his passing. I only knew little things about his personal and home life, but from what I knew it wasn't good. He seemed to be raising himself from what I saw and it kinda broke my heart. Then at the funeral his poor Mother was a wreck. Not that I wouldn't be myself being in that situation. However, later that night after talking with my Mom she made some valid points that stuck with me. I didn't sleep last night. I laid in bed with the baby cuddled up next to me and just thought. Rather than think about how sad it was with his passing, or wondering if there was anything that I could have done or said to make a difference in this young boys life, I began thinking about my own life and my family and children. Perhpas the passing of this boy was to teach me a little lesson. I tend to be a screamer (something that I think I got from my Mom) and just yesterday I screamed at my kids for spilling hot red wax on my white carpet. After talking with Mom it made me stop and think. What if something was to happen (God forbid) to my children today?? Would the last memory I had of time with them be me screaming at them for something that doesn't matter?? Is wax on the carpet really more important than my children?? And also the other way around....I don't want my kids to remember me by things that I did or said that didn't matter. Does it really matter if the toys are picked up, or if the laundry is always done, or if the glass of milk got spilled?? It frightens me to think that I may have become the very kind of Mother that just a few days ago I pitied. So, perhaps in all the sorrow and the loss that this Mother is feeling perhaps it will open her eyes a little bit. Maybe with the loss of a son she will change the way she treats or acts around her other kids. At least that is what I have taken from this heart breaking experience. I love my children and my husband more than anything. And I know that this mother also loved her son. But the question still remains....if we love them more than life itself, why do we do the things we do?? And why do we say those things, why do we yell at our kids for things that don't matter? Why are we more worried about our carpets, and our shoes, purses, etc. that we let our kids fall to the bottom rung?? Well, this post wasn't supposed to be like this....it really was gonna be a more upbeat post. However, perhaps I just needed to say some of the things that I have been thinking about this past week. I guess what I am saying is that I AM thankful for my children and that I get the opportunity to be a Mother. And I AM thanful for my husband and for all that he does for me. However, perhaps this year instead of just saying it I will try harded to show my family how thankful I am for them and how much I love and appreciate them and the things that they do for me. I guess our lives are like a book.....you can't go back and change the Once upon a time, but you can change or add as many characters, settings, and plots as you want. And do it so that no matter what you add or even take out you will always have the ending that is something like this....And They ALL lived Happily Ever After!!